Jun. 25th, 2012

[personal profile] idothisallthetime
Hello, babes & dreamboats of our new community!

Come on in, sit down! Fancy a tea? Coffee? Drop of whisky? We hope to make you feel very comfortable here. This is a place for making friends and sharing tiny fragments of our souls, but not making a big deal out of it, 'cause let's face it, we're all humans here. We've all got souls.

This is a place for loving and caring for each other and if that's not the aim of your game, you can take yourself elsewhere. And if we feel you're maybe playing the game wrongly or unfairly, we'll take you elsewhere ourselves.

This week is about getting to know us - we will be posting our personal introductions, as well as recommendations of our favourite art from around the Internet. We also want your work! That means your art, your writing, your creativity. Doesn't matter if you think it's silly - if you've got it, we want it. This includes fanfiction, fan art, personal essays, journals, bits of old AIM chat logs, and whatever you can think of, as well as your more conventional articles, poems, stories, photographs, drawings, whatever.

We've got lots of ways you can communicate with us - give Emery a shout on our Tumblr, Twitter or Facebook, or via her personal journal, [personal profile] idothisallthetime . Direct all your questions/problems/complaints/hatemail to her. Don't worry, she can take it.

Write! Make art! Make your voice heard! Connect to others in the universe! Don't hold back - if you've got anything to say, it might be the one thing that makes someone out in the wide world feel less alone. So say it!

Good luck!

Yours in Love and Rage,

The Ruined Surprise Party
[personal profile] idothisallthetime
I grew up in a small Scottish island community. “Queer” was/is an insult, and one I had had levelled at me many times. When I came out as bisexual, I was informed it was a phase. I gave up talking about my sexuality. I gave up trying to figure out who I was because I came to the conclusion nobody cared. I was clumsy and round-faced and had violent mood swings. None of the boys liked me, and that made me feel worthless.

When I was sixteen, I spent a long time trying to find myself again. I started taking my writing and art seriously. It was my only escape; a means of expression that meant I didn’t have to worry about people (men) looking at me. I won prizes for the work I did, and grew confident. I started rediscovering myself and my body. I did like women, after all. It wasn’t a phase, it was part of who I was. I wanted to fall in love with a girl. I wanted to experience what I’d felt with my best friends when I was younger – the feeling that there was a secret passage between our minds and we could dip in and out of each others’ thoughts. (It’s probably not a complete coincidence that most of my childhood and adolescent best friends have ended up liking women as well.) I imagined how complete I would feel, kissing a woman, fucking her, taking care of her. It was one of the few things I’d ever been certain about.

I began to identify as queer. This time, nobody could tell me what that meant, because queer is a word heteros cannot use and do not understand. The second I started to use that word, I felt different. I was a genderqueer dyke, part filthy Bukowski, part glittering andro punk. I could be messy, I could fuck up, I could hide in my bed, and I didn’t have to punish myself for the things I felt.

Things are still shit though. I live in Edinburgh now, and don’t face the same tense, rigid silence about non-straight identities, but I do experience (sexual) harassment (from men) on the regular. I find it hard to make a space for myself here because I’m introverted and sometimes depressed and often don’t say much. LGBTQ+ spaces are dominated by gay cisgender men and a few women, who just don’t “get” trans* issues and think the word queer is pretentious (a few of them are even Tories).

This is why I need The Ruined Surprise Party. I want to create a space for people like me to make art, care for each other, and feel less alone. I want a safe place where I can escape from the real world and feel like I matter, even though I care about feelings, intuition and expression more than “objectivity” and intellectualism.

I want a place where feminine qualities are not just accepted, but celebrated, and where queer people can be any kind of queer.

Please: help me make this happen.

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theruinedsurpriseparty: jenny holzer - protect me from what i want (Default)
the ruined surprise party

July 2012

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